Alan J. Porter (gothamajp) wrote,
Alan J. Porter

Best Legal Text. Ever..

During a meeting with the CEO this morning, one of my sales team presented a new version of our standard sales quotation document he'd been working on. I know not exactly thrilling stuff - but he'd had some fun with the standard "Confidentiality" statement at the bottom.

The version he presented read as follows.

All information listed herein is completely confidential. External use of this document is strictly prohibited, contents are not to be shared with third parties without the express written permission of [company name]. Violators will meet their fate via blunt force trauma, electro-shock treatment, Chinese water torture, or man eating beetles (you know like the ones in The Mummy) that will dig their way into your body and proceed to eat your brain. This legal notice will self destruct in thirty seconds. All rights reserved.
Tags: work

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